The Light to Guide Me
by oddishh
Summary: That was a dream, right? There was no way he could have ever done those things. Especially not to Lea. Shounen-ai. (Lea/Isa).


**The Light to Guide Me**

Isa woke up at the sensation of a gust of wind. When he opened his green eyes, he was on a bed of grass. It took him a moment, but he soon became aware that he was in the field right outside of Radiant Garden. The field they often used to play in. Their field.

A flood of memories began to flow into him. They were Darkness, Nobodies, Possession, and Xehanort. He was helping Xehanort get to Kingdom Hearts. _'This can't be.'_

There was no possible way he had done those things. Lea was his best friend and there was no way he would do anything to hurt him, let alone his entire world. It had to be a dream, right? A long, highly detailed dream but a dream nonetheless!

Running steps prompted him to sit up and look in the direction of the sound. Immediately, he felt the greatest happiness at seeing the person he held closest to his heart.

"Isa! Hey! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Isa stood up and gave him a small smile. "Sorry, I've been relaxing here for a bit."

"Relaxing, huh?" Lea asked with a smirk. "Relaxing doesn't seem to suit you."

The tension was more than evident in Isa's features, but he played it off. "Well, I guess I'm just not myself today."

Lea, ever intuitive, picked up on the uneasiness right away. "What happened? You can tell me."

Isa sighed, looking down at his feet. "I fell asleep here, and while I was out, I had a really bad nightmare."

Lea's demeanor changed from relaxed to concerned. "Oh? What happened in it?"

Isa tried his best to remain stoic. "I, I went to this terrible, far away place where I couldn't get out. I was trapped in the darkness. You… you tried to save me, but I was too stubborn. I reassured you I was fine and tried to get out on my own. It was no use. It became impossible for me to get out."

Lea cracked an empathetic smile. "Ahh, we all get dreams like that man. That trapped thing is pretty normal for nightmares. If it makes you feel any better, it wasn't real! You're you, I'm me, and nothing's gonna change that."

Tears pricked at his brilliant green eyes, but he was able to hold those feelings back. "It was so realistic, though. Everybody else was gone. Our parents, Radiant Garden… you were the only one left who cared about me. You tried so hard to watch out for me. But my foolishness, my foolishness made you give up on me as well. I became a puppet. I went to a scary place that I can never escape."

The scenery shifted around them, becoming greyer and emptier. Isa repressed a sob.

Lea looked absolutely crestfallen over his best friend's somber state. "Isa, it's okay. I wouldn't ever turn my back on you. Even if there were no hope for you, there would still be a small part of me that wouldn't cave. You know how tenacious I am! I would never give up on you. Just like you would never give up on me, right?"

Isa, no longer able to keep his emotions in check, fell apart. "Of course I would never give up on you! But someone like me, as pathetic and useless as me, is better to give up on. This loneliness is what I deserve for being so weak, for not stopping us from sneaking into the castle, for being such a fool, and most of all: for being a pawn!" He collapsed to the ground, sobbing as tears fell from his face. "I'm so sorry, Lea. There's nothing I could possibly say to make anything that's been done better." He continued to cry, sobbing lightly and trembling. It took effort to keep himself from collapsing completely to the ground below him.

He was shaken out of his self-loathing by a pair of hands on his shoulder.

"You don't need to apologize for anything. I'm more than sure you would never willingly do anything so bad that it reduces you to that. I know you. For one, you have never been one go off the deep end like you're describing. Unless you were being controlled by something, you wouldn't do that stuff." Slowly, he began to run his hands down Isa's arms. He cried harder at Lea's gesture to comfort him.

"The fact that you, of all people, are so torn up over a nightmare that deals with hurting me shows that you would never willingly do something like that. It would cause you way too much grief, obviously." Despite the situation, Lea managed a small, friendly chuckle.

The scenery changed again, shifting to the all-too-familiar World That Never Was. The pain in Isa's heart intensified, and he felt sick to his stomach. The tears continued to flow.

"Even though things aren't so hot right now, I know it'll all turn out in the end."

Isa became aware that Lea was now embracing him, but something was very different. Their ages were changed to at least ten years older. "So this is the reality, then. The nightmare is the reality. I really did get that lost. I…" He was unable to form any more words. Isa buried his face into Lea's shoulder, gripping his arms tight as he sobbed into his jacket.

"It's definitely true that we're both in a tough spot right now," Lea began calmly, "but I promise I'll make things right. I'll get you out of the darkness. I'll bring you back. Just hang on a little bit longer. Got it memorized?" He stroked his back soothingly, before engulfing him in another full embrace.

It took a few moments, but Isa eventually composed himself enough to speak up again. He pulled away from Lea slightly and looked up into his eyes. "I know now that I'm trapped. That is the reality and this is the dream. But, at the same time, I realized something." He released a shaky breath and shed a few more tears before continuing. "I really do remember you and how great of a person you are. This feels just like the real Lea. These are things you would say and things you would do. I know now that somehow, I can escape. Isa is still fighting to regain control. The battle isn't over yet. I'm not going to give up."

Lea reached up to put a hand on his shoulder. "And if you really remember how I am, you know I'll be fighting to get you back."

He nodded in return. "I know now. I know that my life is still worth fighting for. I'll get to see you again. Our real selves will be together." He buried his face into Lea's jacket again. "I'm truly happy. This is the answer I've been looking for. It's what will guide me." Isa looked up at him once more. "Thank you so much. This is all the happiness I need."

With those final words, the world faded, as did Lea.

Saix awoke with a start. What an awful nightmare he just had.

**Note:** I was inspired to make this fic after watching _Puella Magi Madoka Magica: The Rebellion Story_. There was a particular scene that I thought would work in really well here if I changed some stuff around. Hope you all enjoyed the feels.

**Disclaimer:** All mentioned characters and settings are the property of Square Enix and Disney. I am writing this for recreational purposes only and seek no monetary gain.


End file.
